成績單

By now most people seem to be aware of the danger of being deceived through some internet or telephone scam. Still, I have read that millions of people are scammed every single year. In fact, more than $50 billion are lost every year by people who have been fooled by someone pretending to work for an insurance company or a government agency—even pretending to work for the Internal Revenue Service. Many people who fall victim are educated, hardworking, intelligent people.  

Beloved, being intelligent is not the same thing as being wise. Wisdom is the ability to discern between good and bad, between right and wrong. This kind of wisdom and discernment comes from learning and applying God’s Word to our lives.

As we set sail back into Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul gives us some practical instructions. He is concerned about our being deceived in life—not just by scammers but by Satan and the temptation to sin. He writes in verse 15, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise.”

Paul goes on to describe some of the qualities of a wise, discerning, Christian life. He writes that wise living involves “making the best use of the time” (verse 16). We can avoid being deceived by our world by being diligent to honor the Lord.

Verse 17 gives us the second quality of wise living and decision making: understanding, “what the will of the Lord is.” How often we could avoid being deceived by sin and sinful people if we simply sought to do the will of God. Paul is referring here to what God has already revealed to us in His Word. When we are obeying God’s revealed will, we are going to make wise decisions in life.

In verse 18 Paul adds a third quality of a wise life: being “filled with the Spirit.” He writes, “Do not get drunk with wine … but be filled with the Spirit.” When you are under the influence of wine, it affects the way you walk and talk and think. In the same way, when you are under the influence of the Spirit, He affects the way you walk and talk and think.  

The apostle uses the present tense of this verb “be filled,” which indicates this domination or control of the Spirit is a continuing experience. He is not talking about some kind of spiritual experience on Sunday; he is talking about a continual experience on Monday and every day of the week.

When you are filled by the Spirit—under His influence—there are several evidences of this in your life. First, Paul writes that we will be “addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with [our] heart” (verse 19). We are going to enjoy genuine, heartfelt worship with others in the assembly of the church.

Another evidence of being under the influence of the Holy Spirit is a grateful heart—“giving thanks always” (verse 20). This might sound blunt to you, but let me just say that if you are not a thankful person, something in your life is not yet under the influence of the Spirit of God.

Finally, those who are Spirit-filled will be “submitting to one another” (verse 21). That is, we will submit to those in authority over us. When we are controlled by the Spirit, we are seeking to serve others rather than to dominate them and exalt ourselves.[1]

Paul then applies this principle of submission to various relationships, and he begins with marriage:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church . . . as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (verses 22-24)

People today think this biblical concept of wives submitting to their husbands is out of date. They think it sounds demeaning to women. But the Bible nowhere suggests the husband is superior to his wife in any way. In fact, the wife may be more intelligent and discerning. Paul is not talking about essence here but function. That policeman who stops me does not tell me to step out of my truck or slow down on the roadway just because he is a better person than I am. He just happens to have a role of authority that I do not have.  

Now do not assume this passage means a man can boss his way around the house without any love or compassion. Far from it! Notice the husband’s pattern here—again in verse 23: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.”

How does Jesus treat you? Well, just as He shepherds His church, so the husband is to shepherd his wife and family, while the wife respectfully submits to, or follows, her husband. This word “submit” means to “line one’s self up under.”[2] It is a military term, used here to refer to God’s design and arrangement.  

Paul writes that the husband is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (verse 25). So, his leadership is not overbearing or unreasonable but marked by Christlike love that seeks what is best for her.

In forty years of pastoring, I have never once had a woman tell me she was upset because her husband wanted to be a spiritual leader in their marriage and home. I have never once had a woman tell me she just could not follow a husband who was like that. But many times, I have heard a woman express great frustration because her husband refused to be a spiritual leader, shepherding her and loving her as Christ loves His church. How she wished he would.

Paul summarizes here in verse 33: “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Beloved, if all couples followed this simple, wise formula, marriage counselors would go out of business!

As we come to chapter 6, Paul addresses the relationship between children and parents. Verse 1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Again, this is God’s created order of authority. Children honor the Lord by honoring their parents.

Once again, fathers are specifically challenged. They are told in verse 4, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Discipline is intended to lead our children to love and obey the Lord.

By the way, there is a vast difference between breaking a child’s stubborn will and breaking a child’s spirit. A child’s spirit is broken when unreasonable demands and unloving criticism are all they hear. Rules should never be without a loving relationship; in fact, rules without a relationship will often produce rebellion.

Finally, in verses 5-9, Paul refers to the relationship between slaves and masters. Much of the slavery in the Roman Empire was temporary; it was like what we call indentured servanthood.[3] Paul does not address the institution itself but rather how Christians should treat each other. In so doing, he actually plants the seed that unites slaves and masters in the same local church and lays the groundwork for mutual respect and individual freedom.

Paul’s words to slaves in verse 5 apply to employees today. We should obey “earthly masters”—supervisors—and not just because the supervisors are watching, but because Jesus is watching and will honor us for putting in an honest day’s work.

In all these relationships Paul has addressed, he has basically described what it looks like when we all live daily under the influence of the Holy Spirit. Let us live that way today!